Saturday, September 19, 2009

Why Do We Suck Dr. Leary?

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I heart Denis Leary. I always have. He is, in my opinion, the funniest man in the world. Whether he is playing sexy firefighter Tommy Gavin on Rescue Me (you know my thing for sexy firefighters), or hurling hockey pucks on Rachael Ray, or writing articles for Playboy (I do read Playboy for the articles by the way), I have to stop what I am doing and soak up his words because they always have me in stitches. So when I was walking through the book store and saw him gracing the cover of a book called Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy, and Stupid, I knew I was in for a treat! I waited and waited for the library to have a copy available for me to read and on Monday when they finally called to tell me it was my turn to read this book I couldn't run the 2 blocks fast enough to go and pick it up! I flew through it in 2 days and laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

This is a book that you will find in the humor section of your book store so most people would think not to take it too seriously, but the message, although funny, is spot on to the title. It guides you through the web of traits that would make other countries hate us so much they would want to fly jets into our buildings and kill thousands of people. Throughout the book you are telling yourself, 'He isn't talking about me' but then you turn the page and you think, 'Huh, I do that, I think that, I wear that.' and then you realize that you are exactly who he is talking about. He is talking about each and every one of us including himself. In his free flowing rants he shows us our decline over the past 50 years and where we are headed. He offers no suggestion on how to change, only how we are spiraling out of control.

I know this sounds like a book that would piss a lot of people off (and it probably will), but along with offensive rants and dialogue I guarantee you will laugh until you cry. Here is a little glimpse of the prologue to show you what you are in for if you pick up this book:

"It's time to shave your back and pay attention to your kids and buy a bigger-size dress and stop wearing spandex until you lose a hundred pounds. Skinny jeans are meant for skinny people. In case you don't understand the term "skinny" - if your ass doesn't fit into a seat at the ballpark, hockey rink, or football stadium - yer fat. Too fat for skinny jeans.

What would Jesus say? What I just said. Only louder.

And his hands and feet would be bleeding so he'd probably be in a very pissy mood.

So listen up. I'm trying to help you here. It won't be pretty. But it will be damn funny. Strap yourself in. It's gonna be a bumpy-assed, roller-coaster-on- fire type of ride. No helmets allowed."

So lets just say that if that little intro offended you and you didn't laugh then don't read Why We Suck. If it offended you but you did laugh then read on my friend and let me know what you think about it when you are finished.

Why We Suck: A Feelgood Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid
by Dr. Denis Leary

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