Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Fifty Shades of Grey {Series Review}

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Seriously people?  New York Times Best Sellers List {for the millionth week in a row}?  Seriously?  I think this is just laughable.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a prude, I love me some sexy steamy love scenes in a book.  But if you promise a gal some S and M you really should deliver.  Sure, there is a little bit of flogging and spanking but really all the sex in this book is as normal as any other Harliquin paperback {or most people's bedrooms for that matter}, with maybe the exception of the tampon scene {yes it went there}.  I just think this book was trying too hard.  It didn't know what kind of book it really was, poor thing.  Was it a romance? A mystery?  A psychological thriller?  Twilight?  I honestly believe it was just having a good ol' identity crises.  There were some interesting bits for sure, but mid way through the second installment I was really wishing I hadn't committed myself to the series.  Fortunately I borrowed these books and didn't spend my hard earned money on them {thus adding to their best selling status}.  So, why did I stick with them if I disliked them, you ask?  Well my husband read them.  And liked them.  And then was interviewed for a literary magazine about being a man reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  So see, I kinda had to subject myself to these and see what my husband was up to.  However, I learned a good lesson, don't take his advice on a good book.  {hehe, I'm just kidding Honey!  You have suggested a title or two that I enjoyed!}  And another thing, the writing was atrocious, and repetitive, and the plot shallow!  Also, what message are we sending out here with this girl that is head over heels for a crazy stocker who tries to buy her affection and controls her every move down to the type of birth control she is allowed to take??!!!  Seriously people?  A New York Times Best Seller?????  

OK so do I really need to explain the plot line?  I mean you should have read it by now right?  Bella Anastasia Steel {I know right?  Porn name all the way} falls clumsily into the presence of ubar good looking/rich-out-of-his-gourd Edward Christian Grey.  Anastasia has that gawky, clumsy, collage co-ed appeal that is so irresistible to the heroes in this type of story, and he tries to stay away {really he does, seriously, but not so much} and then like a fly in a web poor Anastasia is snapped up by Mr. Grey; and this sweet unsuspecting virgin falls pray to his sadomasochistic way of life.  Grey wants her as a submissive but Anastasia doesn't really make such a good Sub as she is a little on the independent side, but she falls "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with Grey {wait, that quote might have been from another book...hhhmmmm...} OK do I really need to go further?  Blah blah blah SEX, blah blah blah DRAMA, blah blah blah SEX, blah blah blah DRAMA, blah blah blah SEX.  The End.  Good I'm done.  I think you have the gist of these 3 books, no?

I would recommend this book for light summer reading at the beach {maybe}, or to see what your husband is reading when he is interviewed for a literary magazine, or maybe just to be on the inside of the know when your friends pin funny E-Cards with 50 Shades humor to their Pinterest Boards.  Other than that don't say that I didn't warn you.  It isn't vomit, it just isn't great, and it definitely isn't New York Times Best Seller worthy.

RATING: 2 Stars {for the whole series}

3 more reviews on 50 Shades of Grey:

Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James
{borrowed from a friend}
ISBN  0345803485
Pages 528

Fifty Shades Darker by E L James
{borrowed from a friend}
ISBN 0345803493
Pages 544

Fifty Shades Freed by E L James
{borrowed from a friend}
ISBN 0345803507
Pages 592

If you enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James then please read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer


  1. I haven't read any of them not sure I even want to but interested in seeing what its all about....

  2. The only reason I've even considered reading it was so that I could be even more judgmental about it, ha ha.

    Thanks for your review, hilarious!

  3. I can't wait for the movie. I loved the books. I should agree these are the best written books.
    The Movie Fifty Shades