Fifty Shades of Grey {Series Review}

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Seriously people?  New York Times Best Sellers List {for the millionth week in a row}?  Seriously?  I think this is just laughable.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a prude, I love me some sexy steamy love scenes in a book.  But if you promise a gal some S and M you really should deliver.  Sure, there is a little bit of flogging and spanking but really all the sex in this book is as normal as any other Harliquin paperback {or most people's bedrooms for that matter}, with maybe the exception of the tampon scene {yes it went there}.  I just think this book was trying too hard.  It didn't know what kind of book it really was, poor thing.  Was it a romance? A mystery?  A psychological thriller?  Twilight?  I honestly believe it was just having a good ol' identity crises.  There were some interesting bits for sure, but mid way through the second installment I was really wishing I hadn't committed myself to the series.  Fortunately I borrowed these books and didn't spend my hard earned money on them {thus adding to their best selling status}.  So, why did I stick with them if I disliked them, you ask?  Well my husband read them.  And liked them.  And then was interviewed for a literary magazine about being a man reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  So see, I kinda had to subject myself to these and see what my husband was up to.  However, I learned a good lesson, don't take his advice on a good book.  {hehe, I'm just kidding Honey!  You have suggested a title or two that I enjoyed!}  And another thing, the writing was atrocious, and repetitive, and the plot shallow!  Also, what message are we sending out here with this girl that is head over heels for a crazy stocker who tries to buy her affection and controls her every move down to the type of birth control she is allowed to take??!!!  Seriously people?  A New York Times Best Seller?????  

OK so do I really need to explain the plot line?  I mean you should have read it by now right?  Bella Anastasia Steel {I know right?  Porn name all the way} falls clumsily into the presence of ubar good looking/rich-out-of-his-gourd Edward Christian Grey.  Anastasia has that gawky, clumsy, collage co-ed appeal that is so irresistible to the heroes in this type of story, and he tries to stay away {really he does, seriously, but not so much} and then like a fly in a web poor Anastasia is snapped up by Mr. Grey; and this sweet unsuspecting virgin falls pray to his sadomasochistic way of life.  Grey wants her as a submissive but Anastasia doesn't really make such a good Sub as she is a little on the independent side, but she falls "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with Grey {wait, that quote might have been from another book...hhhmmmm...} OK do I really need to go further?  Blah blah blah SEX, blah blah blah DRAMA, blah blah blah SEX, blah blah blah DRAMA, blah blah blah SEX.  The End.  Good I'm done.  I think you have the gist of these 3 books, no?

I would recommend this book for light summer reading at the beach {maybe}, or to see what your husband is reading when he is interviewed for a literary magazine, or maybe just to be on the inside of the know when your friends pin funny E-Cards with 50 Shades humor to their Pinterest Boards.  Other than that don't say that I didn't warn you.  It isn't vomit, it just isn't great, and it definitely isn't New York Times Best Seller worthy.

RATING: 2 Stars {for the whole series}

3 more reviews on 50 Shades of Grey:

Diaries of Lil' Miss Daydreamer

Tony and Kris

Rocker-Sophz27's Blog

Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James

{borrowed from a friend}

ISBN  0345803485

Pages 528

Fifty Shades Darker by E L James

{borrowed from a friend}

ISBN 0345803493

Pages 544

Fifty Shades Freed by E L James

{borrowed from a friend}

ISBN 0345803507

Pages 592

If you enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James then please read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

Room

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I don't really know how to review this book, so lets just start by saying that this book left me FEELING ALL THE EMOTIONS!  I mean it people, I cried, I cheered, I wanted to punch some of the characters in the face, I felt inspired by motherly love, and in awe of this brave little boy, and frustrated, and amused, and totally heartbroken, and then impressed that this talented author could so astutely tell this story even though she hadn't lived it.  I felt all these things in a very quick and easy 342 pages, so after I reached the back cover I had to digest this book like I have never done with any other novel, and I couldn't figure out why {yes the story was disturbing but I am rarely shocked or bothered}.  Emma Donoghue knows how to reach down into your emotional well and pump it dry.  Maybe it was the content {think Jaycee Dugard}, though we hear stories of this sort all the time on the nightly news {sadly}.  Or maybe it was the fact that this emotional roller-coaster was through the eyes of a 5 year old boy named Jack, or maybe now that I am a mother I could understand the deep love Jack's mother had for him and I could put myself in her shoes {or more than likely it was the whole package}.  Whatever the reason for my uneasy feeling and long digestion period to this book I came to a couple conclusions.  The story was unbelievably well written, and though the topic was a rough one to read, I think Room was a story that needed to be told.   

So as I said before, this book was written through the eyes of a very special little boy named Jack.  Jack is blissfully unaware that there is anything out of the ordinary with his life.  He lives in Room {everything in Jack's life while he is in captivity is a proper noun by the way}, he has his mother to himself 24/7, he has food, he has a very scheduled life that includes learning, and playing, he is happy and content.  Until one day he sees a jet stream out of the only window to the outside world {a skylight}, and as his Mom tries to explain what he is seeing she realizes that they really need to try and get out of their captivity, Jack is just getting too old and she can't pretend that their captivity in normal any longer.  So Jack's Mom starts to plan their escape...  

The first half of this book is all about life in Room.  The second half of this book is about life outside of Room.  Could you imagine living your entire life in an 11x11 space, always thinking that it's normal, not knowing there is anything else out there, only to be thrust into society, with loud noises, big wide open spaces, bright sunlight, temperature changes, etc.?  It would be a little like being born and remembering every detail.  The way Donoghue writes this story through Jack's eyes, you feel his confusion, and his pain, and emotions.  It really is heartbreaking.  The worst part is that as he is getting acclimated to this new big, bright, loud, world, the other characters think that he should just be able to jump into life with two feet, they don't realize that he has all the anxiety and fear.  I just wanted to strangle these characters, scream at them for not understanding, because they weren't in Room with Jack; and I {as the reader} was!!!  

The book can be discussed to death from a psychological point of view, from a mothers point of view, from just a casual readers point of view, and because of that it would be an interesting discussion for a book club or maybe even a high school/collage level psych class.  The topic was fascinating to say the least, and the point of view was unique.  I would recommend reading this when you want something of substance.  The writing was beautiful and rich but the topic was grim.  This is going into my rare 5 Star rating, one of the best books I have come across in a long time.

RATING: 5 Stars

3 more reviews on this book:

The New Dork Review of Books

Leeswammes' Blog

Stacking Books

Room: A Novel by Emma Donoghue

{Purchased on Amazon.com for my Kindle}

ISBN B004QIZ7EQ

Pages 342

If you liked Room by Emma Donoghue you might also enjoy Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Foer.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

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So I had seen Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Foer oh so many years ago and I had always had the desire to pick it up and give it a gander but so many other fabulous books would get in my way and I would loose sight of this particular one.  Then my book club decided it was time to explore Foer's novel and so I skipped over to my Kindle pushed the button and voila it was magically in my had {I just love my Kindle}.  I read the first page and then I couldn't help myself and I read like a quarter of the book while my toddler ran around pulling the dogs tail and dumping over his toy basket.  But Y'all I couldn't help it!  This book sucks you in quickly!  It's one of those books where you sit down to read a chapter and then a few hours later you get up and realize you are getting dangerously close to the back cover!

Now how am I going to describe our protagonist to you...  Well, he is 9 years old, wip smart, scared of his own shadow, and it is implied but never really stated that he is slightly autistic.  Also, he has a business card that he hands out to everyone he meets and it reads like this:

OSKAR SCHELL: INVENTOR, JEWELRY DESIGNER, JEWELRY FABRICATOR, AMATEUR  ENTOMOLOGIST, FRANCOPHILE, VEGAN, ORIGAMIST, PACIFIST, PERCUSSIONIST, AMATEUR ASTRONOMER, COMPUTER CONSULTANT, AMATEUR ARCHAEOLOGIST, COLLECTOR OF: rare coins, butterflies that died natural deaths, miniature cacti, Beatles memorabilia, semi precious stones, and other things        

I think that the business card pretty much sums up who Oskar Schell is.  Of course it doesn't say that he lost THE most important person in his life the year before the story starts.  Oskar's father Thomas was in one of the World Trade Center towers when they fell on September 11th 2001.  A year later Oskar is in his fathers closet when he finds a strange key in a blue vase.  The key is in an envelope with the word BLACK written on the front.  This key spurs a journey through the 5 Boroughs of New York searching for the lock that needs this key.  All the while Oskar is carrying an emotional burden so heavy it will break your heart when you find out what it is {HAVE TISSUES AT HAND WHEN YOU GET TO THIS PART}

Now my little synopsis does not do this incredible story justice.  There are so many other story lines going on that my summery could only focus on the main one.  I believe that is exactly what happened in the writing of the screen play.  You have to look at the movie as a completely different creature from the book.  The move is great.  The book is great.  They share the same idea, but they are executed EXTREMELY and INCREDIBLY different {haha, see what I did there}.  Anyway, you need to love the two independently from each other or you won't love them at all.

This book can be discussed to the moon and back so I would highly recommend this to a book club.  I would also recommend this book to anyone who has a love affair with New York City {as I do}, or someone who loves a story from a child's point of view.

RATING:  4 stars

3 more reviews on this book:

Lovely Little Shelf

Reading Matters

Books i Done Read

Extremely Loud and Incredible Close by Jonathan Foer

{purchased on Amazon.com for my Kindle}

ISBN 0618711651

Pages 326

If you liked Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Foer then please read The Store of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski and The Courious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon.  

One Second After

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I feel like have done nothing but apologize for the last few posts about my neglectfulness to my readers.  I mean I worked so hard to build a quality book blog and then I had to go and have a kid.  Naturally that sucked up all my free time and made it somewhat impossible to blog, much less read a dang book!  Chasing around a very active 11 month old little boy is exhausting so when the lights go out in his nursery, so do mine!  But here I go again, begging all of my readers to be patient with me and promising that I will write more posts however, I am not promising that they will be consistent and I am not promising that I won't start reviewing Green Eggs and Ham {haha}.  But I digress, this, after all, is strictly a "book blog" and not a "brag about my adorable, smart, funny, sweet, lovable, baby boy blog".  So lets get to why we are all here... To talk about William Forstchen's amazing book One Second After.

My obsession with Dystopia might have climaxed with One Second After.  Though, I am not sure you can call this book Dystopia.  There wasn't time for a Dystopian society to materialize because this book is literally about what happens ONE SECOND AFTER society crumbles.  It shows the breakdown of society as we know it; not the unrest of a rebuilt anti-utopia like we see in Hunger Games or The Handmaid's Tale.  This book may fall more firmly in the realm of prepping or survival.  At any rate this book is very very interesting.  As you can see I am really not myself in the post with snarky quips about my amazement or my OMGs about how fabulous this book is, but don't let that mislead you, I am out of my head about this book, however, my feelings fall more toward unrest and disturbance if that makes sense.  I read this book months ago and every single day after that I have thought about the fact that I. AM. NOT. PREPARED. 

So this book starts off with the introduction of it's characters as most books do.  We meet our main character John Matherson and his family {he is a widower and has two daughters - one with insulin dependent diabetes}, seconds after we meet this nice family in a quaint mountain town in North Carolina all goes dark.  I MEAN EVERYTHING PEOPLE!!!  Phones, lights, computers, cars, MP3 players, air planes are literally falling out of the sky.  EVERYTHING loses power!  The reason behind this NATION WIDE black out is an EMP {electro magnetic pulse, look it up it will scare the shit out of you}.  This EMP is a weapon of mass destruction that no one was ready for, and the effects of it's destruction are indefinite and devastating.  America is completely dark and there is absolutely positively NO communication to be had from coast to coast.  We are essentially cast into the dark ages and everything has collapsed in a matter of a second.  

Now that you are feeling as cheery as I am about the situation, lets talk about the fact that our main character's daughter is an insulin dependent diabetic.  There is no power so there is no way to keep anything cold, so lets go down that road for a few moments and see where it ends...  Also, were do we get food?  What do we do with the motorists that were stranded on the freeway?  What about things like sanitation, clean water, our loved ones that were away from home at the moment the EMP went off?  And these are just questions to ask in the first few days of such a destructive weapon.  What happens when Marshal Law is declared?  When common sicknesses start epidemics because there is no more medicine to fight them? What happens when people start getting desperate?  Are you as freaked out as I am yet....

No, your not?  Well let me just say that after you research what exactly an EMP is, you will start stocking up your beans and rice supply and start thinking about a plan to survive.  Seriously folks, this is something that could happen.  Not something some SiFi minded author dreamed up, and that my friends is why this new mom is having a freak out almost daily about this book.  I am glad I read it, however, I wish I never did...

The writing in this book is easy to read, not the best ever but good, I mean Forstchen isn't Hemingway but I hung on his every word so that's something.  I would highly recommend this to everyone just for the pure fact that it will give you an education.  A book club could discuss the hell out of it.  BUT if you are a new mom like myself, maybe you should wait until after your little nugget is a little older and your hormones are back to where they should be. 

RATING: 5 Stars

3 more reviews:

ParaJunkie

Growing Human

Small World Reads

One Second After by William R. Forstchen

{purchased on Amazon.com for my Kindle}

ASIN B002LATV16

If you liked One Second After by William R. Forstchen please read The Road by Cormic McCarthy

The Passage

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Wow.  November 13th was my last post...  I am so sorry for all of you that have followed my blog.  I did not die, I had a baby {a healthy 6lb 9oz adorable baby boy}!  Yep, from November - February I was reading TONS of "preparing for baby" books and no fiction what-so-ever.  Then after he was born in March I never had any time between poopy diapers, spit up, and learning to be a Mommy {along with running my business, and being a wife}.  Now that we are settling into a routine I have some more time to read and now I am just finding time to blog.  I have read quite a few books in the last few months.  I bought a Kindle so reading is much easier now that I have to have one arm to hold the little guy.  Luckily most of the books I have read recently have all be spectacular {only one FAIL among them}. So in the next few days I'll try and crank out some reviews so you can read and discuss!  First on the agenda is The Passage by Justin Cronin...

Oh. My. Goodness.  This book knocked my socks off!!!  Dystopia, vampires {not the sexy glittery kind, but the terrifying bat like kind that suck you dry or turn you into a monster}, survival, adventure; I was riveted from page one.  The book starts off with a series of emails between two scientists discussing a trip to the Amazon {I believe}, then the emails take a turn as one of the scientists heads out on this trip and bad things start to happen and everyone dies or nearly dies {death by bats - the flying kind not the Louisville Slugger kind}.   Then the book jumps to a private investigator that is commissioned to finding death row inmates and giving them the option to die by the needle or to be used in a military experiment.  Then you jump to a chapter in the eyes of a little girl that is left in a convent.  Then finally the P.I. and the girl cross paths because the P.I. gets the job of picking up this orphaned little girl at the convent so the military could do the same experiments on a child {newly orphaned, no paper trail, very shady, you get the picture}.  Then we jump to the military base where these experiments are taking place and we learn that the scientist from the beginning of the book is helping the military create an indestructible soldier, however the experiment has gone totally bad and the inmates/bat people {i.e. vampires, kinda} break out of their labs and start killing everyone or at least changing them into the vampire-beast things too.  Well it doesn't take to long before the United States is infested with these beasts like the plague and then the Nuclear Bombs drop.

OK now we jump 100 years into the future after the Nuclear fallout to this little settlement of survivors.  They have created this little settlement and have been happy and well for years but as always there is the question "is there anyone else out there?", plus lights what were created to keep the vampires out are starting to fail, so they have to head out into the wilderness in search of help or a new power source.  Well that is the rest of the story.  They set off to find the answer in this vampire-beast infested world.  And let me tell you it makes for an amazing read!  And even though this book is nearly around 800 pages you just want more when the last page is finished, but have no fear this is the beginning of a TRILOGY!!  Woot woot!!

Something else I have to mention is that the writing is out of this world.  The wording, the details, the cadence of the whole book is perfection.  There were times that I got so caught up in the flow of the writing that I had to go back and read it again to get the content.  And characters are very fleshed out, the prose are deep, and the mix of everything makes this one of the best books I have read in the last couple years.  This book has landed on my top 5 books of all times.

I don't think this book is for everyone though.  There is a lot of scary bits where I had to stop reading and wait for the day to come to read some more.  And there is a religious undertone that was very interesting that some may not get or very much like {but I enjoyed}.  I really really want my book club to read this so I can discuss it with someone because there is a lot to discuss in this book.  So if you want to chat with me about the book in the comment section please do!  Just let people know in the beginning of your post if you are including a spoiler.

All in all this is a must read if you are into scary, thriller, dystopia kind of stuff.  If you are more of a light hearted, fluffy, unicorn kind of person steer clear of this one it may just scare the dickens out of you. 

RATING: 5 Stars

3 more reviews of The Passage:

books i done read

Lovely Little Shelf

Charlotte Chase

The Passage by Justin Cronin

{Purchased on Amazon.com for my Kindle}

ISBN 0345504968

Pages 784

If you liked The Passage by Justin Cronin than read The Road by Cormic McCarthy