Fifty Shades of Grey {Series Review}

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Seriously people?  New York Times Best Sellers List {for the millionth week in a row}?  Seriously?  I think this is just laughable.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a prude, I love me some sexy steamy love scenes in a book.  But if you promise a gal some S and M you really should deliver.  Sure, there is a little bit of flogging and spanking but really all the sex in this book is as normal as any other Harliquin paperback {or most people's bedrooms for that matter}, with maybe the exception of the tampon scene {yes it went there}.  I just think this book was trying too hard.  It didn't know what kind of book it really was, poor thing.  Was it a romance? A mystery?  A psychological thriller?  Twilight?  I honestly believe it was just having a good ol' identity crises.  There were some interesting bits for sure, but mid way through the second installment I was really wishing I hadn't committed myself to the series.  Fortunately I borrowed these books and didn't spend my hard earned money on them {thus adding to their best selling status}.  So, why did I stick with them if I disliked them, you ask?  Well my husband read them.  And liked them.  And then was interviewed for a literary magazine about being a man reading Fifty Shades of Grey.  So see, I kinda had to subject myself to these and see what my husband was up to.  However, I learned a good lesson, don't take his advice on a good book.  {hehe, I'm just kidding Honey!  You have suggested a title or two that I enjoyed!}  And another thing, the writing was atrocious, and repetitive, and the plot shallow!  Also, what message are we sending out here with this girl that is head over heels for a crazy stocker who tries to buy her affection and controls her every move down to the type of birth control she is allowed to take??!!!  Seriously people?  A New York Times Best Seller?????  

OK so do I really need to explain the plot line?  I mean you should have read it by now right?  Bella Anastasia Steel {I know right?  Porn name all the way} falls clumsily into the presence of ubar good looking/rich-out-of-his-gourd Edward Christian Grey.  Anastasia has that gawky, clumsy, collage co-ed appeal that is so irresistible to the heroes in this type of story, and he tries to stay away {really he does, seriously, but not so much} and then like a fly in a web poor Anastasia is snapped up by Mr. Grey; and this sweet unsuspecting virgin falls pray to his sadomasochistic way of life.  Grey wants her as a submissive but Anastasia doesn't really make such a good Sub as she is a little on the independent side, but she falls "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" with Grey {wait, that quote might have been from another book...hhhmmmm...} OK do I really need to go further?  Blah blah blah SEX, blah blah blah DRAMA, blah blah blah SEX, blah blah blah DRAMA, blah blah blah SEX.  The End.  Good I'm done.  I think you have the gist of these 3 books, no?

I would recommend this book for light summer reading at the beach {maybe}, or to see what your husband is reading when he is interviewed for a literary magazine, or maybe just to be on the inside of the know when your friends pin funny E-Cards with 50 Shades humor to their Pinterest Boards.  Other than that don't say that I didn't warn you.  It isn't vomit, it just isn't great, and it definitely isn't New York Times Best Seller worthy.

RATING: 2 Stars {for the whole series}

3 more reviews on 50 Shades of Grey:

Diaries of Lil' Miss Daydreamer

Tony and Kris

Rocker-Sophz27's Blog

Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James

{borrowed from a friend}

ISBN  0345803485

Pages 528

Fifty Shades Darker by E L James

{borrowed from a friend}

ISBN 0345803493

Pages 544

Fifty Shades Freed by E L James

{borrowed from a friend}

ISBN 0345803507

Pages 592

If you enjoyed Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James then please read Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

The Monsters of Templeton

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I had been on such a good roll!  I had been reading some really amazing stories, one right after another, but I guess it had to end somewhere, and so it came to a screeching halt with The Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff.  Wow...  I mean just wow... This book rambled on and on and was just so bizarre that I had to keep reading to see what other crazy thing was going to happen. 

So anyway lets cut to the chase...  Here is the plot line...  When the story opens we are in a picturesque little town in upstate New York called Templeton (based loosely on the authors home town of Cooperstown NY).  It is one of those places with a lot of history (apparently the birth place of baseball), where everyone knows everyone else's business, and most people don't ever leave.  In the town there is a HUGE glacial lake called Lake Glimmerglass. On this particular morning on the lake a rower finds the legendary lake monster Glimmey floating belly up.  On this same morning Willie Upton comes home from her life in Stanford University, pregnant with her professors baby and feeling like it is the end of her world.  While she is home her mother, an aging hippie turned evangelis, Vi, sets Willie working on a project that will keep her mind off all her troubles.  Vi tells Willie that her father is an upstanding man from Templeton (not just a past fling from her Hippie days), but the kick is that Vi isn't telling who.  The only clue that Willie has is that her father is in a very round about illegitimate way related to the Temples that founded this little town, while Willie is a direct descendant of the founding father Marmaduke Temple. To solve the mystery Willie has to dive deep into her family history that stretches back across 2 centuries to the first citizens of Templeton.

The story wasn't all bad it was just weird and I though the plot was flimsy.  The characters weren't all that fleshed out and the only real interesting thing to me was the lake monster but as unique of an angle as that could have been there wasn't much going on with poor dead Glimmey.  I did like that the chapters were all in different voices, some times in Willies, sometimes in Willies relatives that span across 2 centuries.  And I did like that they gave a little tiny shout out to my home town Louisville Kentucky (small mention of the Louisville Bats)!!  All and all it isn't one that will leave a lasting impression on me that is for sure.

Annoying Book Moment:  Lauren Groff was a bit obsessed with the "he said", "she said" bit.  During a conversation between characters it was getting a bit redundent when the page read like this:

"Bla diddy blah blah" She said

"Blah Blah Blah" He said

"Yadda Yadda Yadda Blah" She said

"Smakety smakety yadda bla" He said.

"Bla Ba diddy yadda bla" She said.

"blah blah blah" He said.

It was down right maddening with all the "said said said" on every other page.

Book vs. Movie:  I don't think that this book would make a good screen play.  While the story was somewhat interesting I don't think I could see it on the big screen.  It would be WAY too slow moving for me.

The Monsters of Templeton
by Lauren Groff


If you like this book you should read: Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews